Having erectile dysfunction (ED) does not have to hamper a spontaneous, exciting sex life. Really!
When you realize that ED may be affecting your sex life, your next thought is probably, "How can I spice things up and get over this hump?" Pardon the pun. But chances are, getting all "worked up" over the pressure of spicing things up, not to mention all the stressful anticipation, probably doesn't help you perform, either - the irony! Actually, this is surprisingly not uncommon at all. And unfortunately, worrying about ED can make ED worse, adding to the anxiety you're already feeling.
One way to resolve your concerns about ED is to talk to your partner and your doctor. Your doctor can provide you with treatment options, and following an ED treatment plan can help make your ED a thing of the past. Treatments that are available from your doctor may help you become bedroom-ready at a moment's notice.
Variety is the spice of life
So you've been to the doctor and are following their suggested treatment plan, and now you want to get back in the saddle, so to speak. So, how to you put the sizzle back in your interrupted sex life?
ED doesn't have to take the fun out of sex. In fact, it's important to remember that variety and spontaneity are the best ways to keep a sex life happy and passionate in the long run. Don't be afraid to mix things up and get out of your love-making routine.
Has ED left you gun shy for too long? Here are a few ways to heat things up (who said anything about limiting it to between the sheets?):
- Just do it! Sex doesn't have to be confined to the bedroom. Think of ways to break out of your usual bedroom frolic routine. Breaking the routine may be as simple as "doing it" with the lights on or having a quickie in the middle of the day. If you're less adventurous, you can try different rooms in the house, like the front foyer or the kitchen. There's nothing wrong with "christening" a room!
- Plan to be spontaneous: It may seem counterintuitive for you and your partner to schedule sex three times a week, but the planning and anticipation helps build arousal and excitement.
- Flirt and be romantic: If you think your wife looks hot gardening, catcall at her from the bedroom window. Put your hand on the curve of her back when leaving a restaurant. Send a suggestive email or text message in the middle of the day. Dance even when there's no music. Pull out all the moves you used when you first started dating. Remember, sex is a two-way street.
- Go on a date: Going on a date like when you first started seeing each other can put some sparks back in the bedroom. Rediscover the passion and chemistry that made you fall in love in the first place. Go to a favourite restaurant, open doors for her, hold hands, and give her a good night kiss at the door. Do things you did when you first started dating. Try to make it a regular thing - making the relationship a priority once a week establishes commitment, which goes a long way towards building trust. And it cannot be said often enough that trust underscores a healthy sex life.
- Talk dirty: Introduce some spicy dialogue into your daily life. It builds anticipation and arousal and it's a way to communicate each other's turn-ons and turn-offs. You can also try sharing fantasies - you never know, one of them might come true!
- Be selfless occasionally: Giving pleasure without receiving is a gift that definitely gives back - use your imagination! 'Nough said.
- Look at each other: Sex can be rudimentary without intimacy, so make sure you make eye contact at the same time (you'd be surprised at how thrilling it can be).
- Try different moves: This may seem obvious, but sex can get a little boring if you do the same moves over and over again. Now that you are being treated for ED, try new things and experiment with new positions. New moves can be great!
- Role-play: If you want to give role-playing a try, plan ahead. Choose characters you're both comfortable with, and props that are fun. Don't take it too seriously - the worst-case scenario is it ends up being a playful and funny experience. Depending on your age, Princess Leia and Wonder Woman are always crowd favourites!