Coping with MiscarriageCoping with the loss
The loss of a pregnancy can have a huge impact on your life. It can affect you, your partner, your relationship with your partner, and your family and friends.
Miscarriage is one of the most traumatic events you may ever experience. After experiencing a miscarriage, it is normal to go through a grieving process. While your body is recovering, you also need to attend to your emotions. Emotional healing tends to take much longer than physical healing. Allow yourself time to grieve. Grieving can help you accept your loss before moving on with your life.
Emotions you may be feeling include sadness, guilt, self-blame, shock, depression, confusion, and a sense of failure. You may be asking yourself why the pregnancy ended. You may experience headache, appetite loss, tiredness, or have difficulty sleeping or concentrating. These are all normal after a significant loss. Allow yourself to go through these feelings.
Remember that it is not your fault and it's unlikely that you could have done anything to prevent the pregnancy loss.
Your partner is also trying to cope with the loss. Your partner may not express emotions the way you do, or even at all, because your partner may be trying to be strong for the both of you. Miscarriage can greatly affect your relationship. The important thing to remember is to cope with the loss together. Now is not the time to isolate yourself. Share how you feel - you need each other the most at this time. It is one of the most important things you can do to get through this difficult time.
You can also get support by talking to your family and friends. A sympathetic ear may be all you need. Considering that miscarriage occurs in about 15% to 25% of pregnancies, you may be surprised to hear of their stories of miscarriage. You can also talk to other people who have also had a miscarriage by joining a pregnancy loss or grief support group.
Most women who have had a miscarriage can go on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby, even if they had more than one miscarriage. Having a miscarriage doesn't necessarily mean that you cannot have children or that there is something wrong with your health. When the time is right, you and your partner may decide to try becoming pregnant again. Read "Moving on from miscarriage" to learn more.
Dealing with the emotions of a pregnancy loss can be difficult. Talk to your doctor about your loss. Your doctor can also refer you to a counsellor or psychologist, who can provide further support for you. You and your partner can do this together to help you through this difficult time.
Women and couples who experience a miscarriage after struggling with fertility issues may feel their loss more acutely. Your fertility specialist or clinic can refer you to a counsellor who specializes in this area of pregnancy loss.